What to do in case you argue earlier than mattress



The most simple solution is not to bring up “thorny or contentious issues just before you go to bed” says psychosexual and relationship therapist Sarah Fletcher from Coupleworks. When you know an issue is likely to escalate into an argument, make the decision to wait until the next day to talk about it, when you can approach it with a clearer head. 

If the subject comes up anyway, it’s always best to agree to discuss it at a later point. Even if you feel that if you don’t talk about now, you’ll never resolve it, Blair emphasises the distinction between a problem and an emergency:  “If it couldn’t wait until morning, you would have resolved it already.” No problem is so big that it can’t wait for one night.

“Have a talk about talks” suggests Talbot, “at least you’ve agreed that it’s on the agenda and that you’re going to try and resolve it.” 

By expressing your commitment to resolving the issue, you are likely to generate a more positive response from the other person, and diffuse the situation. 

Listening

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